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Cultural Adjustment: A Transition to Life at Tufts in America

By Sara Mohammadi, (LA '03), Graduate student in the Department of Economics

I am an Iranian, but have lived most of my life in the United Arab Emirates - a small gulf country near the Persian Gulf. Although I identify myself as an Iranian, I have also borrowed a lot from the Arab culture, and even acquired a bit of taste for the Slavic taste while living in Russia. So I was a hybrid of many cultures prior to coming to Tufts, and I had traveled to several countries and witnessed the differences in the way of life, in cuisine, in music, in public attitude and sociability. More importantly, the thought of coming to America, did not induce any worries or anxieties. I knew it would be a different experience and all the Hollywood movies, MTV, CNN and even the Tufts university brochure had exposed me to the expected differences. So in a way, I was prepared mentally to deal with the "culture shock".

However, knowing is a world apart from experiencing. I never imagined that I would be homesick - after all I couldn't wait to get as far as possible from home, from all that was familiar and old. I was seeking the new, a change of habit, routine and even faces. When I first arrived at Tufts, I was overwhelmed with too much excitement to realize how homesick I was. However, once the classes were settled and I adjusted to the academic routine, I found myself feeling lonely. Even though I was surrounded by other freshmen in my dorm, in my mind they had an advantage - they were still in their "homeland" in America. To me, both Tufts and America were alien environments. There was no one to speak to in Farsi. No one could understand the cultural concept of "taarof". My humor was weird and my way of expressing interest was unfamiliar to them. I felt that the people didn't understand where I was coming from. By the way, some literally did not know where Iran or the U.A.E was located. How could I ever try to transcend the importance of Nowrooz, chelo kabab or baba karam to some one who didn't know my country?

The loneliness from inside was building up and I was still in denial. I was the one who wanted to be away from home in the first place! I also longed for my family whom I barely spoke to, except twice a month. It was hard to get their attention via email too. Most of my friends from back home were too involved with their college lives. So as the days passed I was isolated more from all sides.

I was in denial and the denial eventually became self-pity and somewhat of a resentment towards everything at Tufts. This was the hallmark of my experience. I had reached a point where everything was wrong in America and even at Tufts. I just could not stand life in the United States, in particular during the holidays - the times when everyone would take the bus or plane back home to be with their loved ones.

These were all the thoughts that ran through my head and sustained the loneliness and isolation, during the first few couple of weeks until the end of October, when I decided to help some dorm mates make costumes for their Halloween Party. They had seen my knitting kit and asked if I knew how to stitch and sew. October 31st, 1999 was the turning point for me. By engaging in a simple arts and crafts activity, I got to explore an aspect of friendship among the American kids. That one night created an uncalculated domino effect. One positive attitude, one positive step changed it all.

After that night, they would knock on my door and stop by for a short chat. I also reciprocated. I asked them to join me for dinner and even accompanied them for dinner at Davis Square or elsewhere. I started to open up to new things. I gave every possible activity a chance. I went to the fraternity parties, I went to sport events, I attended the dance shows, and went to lectures irrelevant to my academic major. I was determined to find my niche.

I was going to make a home far away from home.

By sophomore year I had some really close friends. In fact these friends, Americans and international students, were a reason why I was able to adjust to the different lifestyle here. Their warmth, their support was crucial. Having someone to call me and ask me how I was doing, really prevented from the loneliness creeping up on me again. I also had less chance to stay in my room by myself.

Friendships bank on human emotions, not on culture or language. What I didn't realize was that most people use their cultural paradigms for unique ways of articulating friendship. Once I came to terms with this notion, I took my difference and used it towards engagement, rather than isolation. So the other side of the coin was flipped and I began to bank on my "differences". This may sound like a clich but the language and cultural differences drew me closer rather than apart.

Junior year I was abroad in England. This time my experience at Tufts had nourished a new attitude that made the adjustment at Oxford as simple as drinking a glass of water (as Iranians say). Interestingly by the end of July I started to miss Tufts and even America. I missed Jay's Deli subs, I missed watching movies at the MFA, the outrageous Spring Fling, the barbeque breaks during exam period at Dowling Hall, and reading at a corner of Tisch library....and so on. I belonged to something and that was Tufts.

Unfortunately I had some trouble returning from Dubai, U.A.E back to America due to changes in the U.S. immigration process. A few days before I was supposed to return, the US consulate told me that it would take much longer than expected to expedite my visa. It was devastating. I had one more semester before graduation and I was denied reentry to U.S. This really put Tufts and their student oriented system to a test. I did not plan to sit passively and wait for the visa, and neither did Tufts. They took many measures and were even willing to be flexible with certain rules to help me during this unexpected and unfortunate circumstance. I am really proud of the way they carried this process. They were a great support despite the distance. Every one at the International center, in addition to faculty and members of the Global Institute, in a concerted effort tried to speed the process.

I experienced cultural difference in its entirety when I embarked on my education at Tufts as a freshman. Cultural mainly, because I had to adjust my way of life, but more importantly my attitude towards the unfamiliar. At this point, I am at ease with my surrounding and with Tufts. I have my home at home and feel an affinity more by the day....all of this thanks to Halloween!

Read more about Cultural Adjustments.