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For Students
Often, in the aftermath of such tragedies, we find ourselves reflecting on our personal experiences and the meaning of such deep personal and community losses. However, each persons reaction to a crisis is unique, and it is important not to judge or criticize the responses of another, which might be similar to - or different from - ones own response.
It is natural that, as the shock begins to wear off, more feelings may emerge, such as sadness and anger. It is important to share these feelings with people that you trust. Remember that it is often most helpful for people to just be with one another during times of crises. Saying the "right" words isn't the most important thing; feeling connected to people close to you is more important.
For some people, the level of feelings or the kinds of questions that emerge may indicate that counseling support would be helpful. If you feel it might be helpful to talk to a counselor, please feel free to contact the Counseling and Mental Health Service (617-627-3360).
Additional information on the process of healing from loss and trauma can
be found at the following links.Tips for College and University Students:
For Faculty and Staff
Tips for Faculty and Staff: Helping Students Cope with Trauma
In the Classroom:
Unfortunately, tragic events occur on college campuses. These events often leave many students, faculty, staff, and members of the college or university community severely traumatized. Often, providing some time in a class setting for emotional debriefing can significantly aid and accelerate the healing process. The following guide to emotional debriefing in class was adapted from a similar guide written for the faculty at Texas A&M University following the Bonfire tragedy in November 1999, and from Joan Whitney, Ph.D. "In the Classroom: Dealing with the Aftermath of a Tragedy".
Consider providing time during class to discuss the incident and the students feelings about it. The students should be encouraged to express feelings in as supportive an atmosphere as possible.
If you prefer not to provide discussion time during class -
it is typically best to acknowledge the event. A national or local tragedy can result in students having difficulty concentrating. Failure to mention the event can result in students becoming angry at what they label as a "professors insensitivity to what happened." If you choose not to devote discussion time to the event, you might mention to students that tragedies stir up many emotions, and remind the students that there are resources on campus where they might consider seeking support. On our campus, those resources include the University Counseling and Mental Health Service (617-627-3360, and here on the web), Chaplaincy, DOSA, and Residence Life (RAs).
If you do wish to provide an opportunity for discussion, here are some ideas to consider.
- Acknowledge the event
Briefly acknowledge the tragic event, and suggest that it might be helpful to share personal reactions students may have.
- Discussion can be brief
Consider providing an opportunity at the beginning of a class period. Often, a short time period is more effective than a whole class period. This serves the purpose of acknowledging that students may be reacting to a recent event, without pressuring students to speak.
- Allow brief discussion of the "facts," and then shift to emotions
Often the discussion starts with students asking questions about what actually happened, and "debating" some details. People are more comfortable discussing "facts," than feelings, so its best to allow this exchange for a brief period of time. After facts have been exchanged, you can try to shift the discussion toward sharing personal and emotional reactions.
- Invite students to share emotional, personal responses
You might lead off by saying something like: "Often it is helpful to share your own emotional responses, and hear how others are responding. It doesnt change the reality, but it takes away the sense of loneliness that sometimes accompanies stressful events. I would be grateful for whatever you are willing to share."
- Encourage acceptance of all types of feelings
If students begin "debating" the "right way" to react to a tragedy, it is useful to comment that each person copes with stress in a unique way, and there is no "right way" to react.
- Be prepared for blaming
When people are upset, they often look for someone to blame. Essentially, this is a displacement of anger. It is a way of coping. The idea is that if someone did something wrong, then future tragedies can be avoided by doing things "right." If the discussion gets "stuck" with blaming, it might be useful to say "We have been focusing on our sense of anger and blame, and thats not unusual. It might be useful to
talk about our fears."
- It is normal for people to seek an "explanation"
By understanding "why" a tragedy occurred, we seek to reassure ourselves that a similar event could be prevented in the future. You might comment that, as intellectual beings: We always seek to understand, and it is very challenging to understand "unthinkable" events. By their very natures, tragedies are especially difficult to explain. Uncertainty is certainly distressing, but sometimes is inevitable.
It is best to resist the temptation to make 'meaning of the event. That is not one of your responsibilities, and would not be helpful.
- Thank students for sharing, and remind them of resources on campus
In ending the discussion, it is useful to comment that people cope in a variety of ways. If a student would benefit from a one-on-one discussion, encourage them to make use of campus resources.
Concerns about a Specific Student:
If you would like to discuss concerns about a specific student, contact DOSA at x73158, or call the CMHS at x73360.
Caring for yourself:
You, as a faculty or staff member, may also have strong personal reactions to these recent tragic events. Talking about what you are going through in the wake of this awful tragedy is the most important thing you can do to take care of yourselves and each other. If you would like to discuss your own reactions with a counselor, contact Health Resources, the Tufts University Employee Assistance Program (EAP). This is a confidential, short term counseling and referral service provided to employees without charge by Tufts University. The national, toll-free number is 1-800-451-1834 (TTY users please use Relay). In case of emergency, you can reach someone there 24 hours a day.
For Parents
Helping your Student Cope with Trauma:
Tragic events such as those that occurred at Virginia Tech, are shocking and disturbing. They also can arouse anxiety in a number of different ways. For many students, being away from home may be disconcerting at this time. Whats more, college students may feel especially vulnerable, as they are aware that if this could happen on one campus, it could happen anywhere.
The following are some suggestions for helping your student cope with their reactions to this event.
- Talk with your student
Check in with your student and ask how they have been feeling about the situation. You may need to seek out your student and begin the conversation yourself. You might want to consider asking them if they are worried about anything, to give them an opportunity to voice any fears that they may be having. Alternatively, you may find that your student is the one to make the first contact, and that they seek more contact with you and other family members at this time. It is natural to want to connect with loved ones in this context, and it will be helpful for you to talk with your student as often as they wish to.
- Be A Supportive Listener
Remember that there is no right or wrong way to feel in this moment, but it is usually very helpful to express emotional responses. Encourage your student to express any feelings they might have about the incident. Reassure your student that it is natural to have strong feelings after a tragedy.
- Remind your student to use information and supports on campus as well
Encourage your student to seek support from friends, faculty, and other trusted individuals on campus. It is also a good idea to remind your student to be alert to campus communications and familiar with emergency procedures on campus.
- Professional assistance is available
If your student needs to talk with a professional, suggest that he or she call the Counseling and Mental Health Service at 617-627-3360 to make an appointment with a counselor.
- Consultation to parents
If you are concerned about your student and want to consult with a professional, call the Counseling and Mental Health Service at 617-627-3360.
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